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Yet people are more tolerant of acts of negligence and remissness on the part of their friends, and they accept from them without anger such excuses as I forgot, I didn’t know. But the man who says, I did not appear with you when your case was in court, for I was appearing with another friend, and I did not come and see you when you had fever, for I was busy helping so-and-so to entertain some friends, thus alleging, as the reason for his inattention, his attention to others, does not absolve himself from blame, but only aggravates the trouble by arousing jealousy. But most people, apparently, look at the possession of a host of friends merely from the point of view of what such friendships are able to bestow, and overlook what these demand in return, forgetting that he who accepts the services of many for his needs must in turn render like service to many in their need. Therefore, just as Briareus in purveying for fifty bellies with an hundred hands had no advantage over us who manage one stomach with what two hands provide, so in making use of many friends is involved also serving many, and sharing in their anxieties, preoccupations, and troubles. For no credence is to be given to Euripides Hippolytus, 253. when he says: In the friendship which mortals with each other form Moderation should rule, and it never should reach To the soul’s inmost marrow; and easy to loose Should the spells ever be that are laid on the mind So to thrust them aside or to draw them close, thus easing off one’s friendship or hauling it close according to exigencies, like the sheet of a ship’s sail. But let us, my dear Euripides, turn the application Hippolytus, 253. of this advice to our enmities, and advise the use of moderation in our disagreements, not reaching the soul’s inmost marrow, and that hatred, anger, complainings, and suspicions be easy to loose, and commend rather to us the Pythagorean Cf. Moralia, vol. i. 12 E and the note. maxim, not to clasp hands with many; that is, not to make many friends nor to welcome a common and indiscriminate friendship, or even a friendship with one person, if the coming of any friendship into one’s life brings with it many afflictions, wherein refusal to share the other’s anxieties, burdens, toils, and dangers is altogether intolerable for free-born and generous persons.
