Parodos
[Agon]
And yet perhaps you will not be vexed at suffering what you now suffer.
Strepsiades.
How, pray? For inform me what good you will do me by this.
Phidippides.
I will beat my mother, just as I have you.
Strepsiades.
What do you say? What do you say? This other, again, is a greater wickedness.
Phidippides.
But what if, having the worst Cause,
I shall conquer you in arguing, proving that it is right to beat one’s mother?
1445
Strepsiades.
Most assuredly, if you do this, nothing will hinder you from casting yourself
and your Worse Cause into the pit along with Socrates.
1450
These evils have I suffered through you, O Clouds! Having intrusted all my affairs to you.
Chorus.
Nay, rather, you are yourself the cause of these things, having turned yourself to wicked courses.
Strepsiades.
Why, pray, did you not tell me this, then, but excited with hopes a rustic and aged man?
Chorus.
We always do this to him whom we perceive to be a lover of wicked courses,
until we precipitate him into misfortune, so that he may learn to fear the gods.
1460
Strepsiades.
Ah me ! it is severe, O Clouds! But it is just; for I ought not to have withheld the money which I borrowed. Now, therefore, come with me, my dearest son,
that you may destroy the blackguard Chaerephon and Socrates, who deceived you and me.
1465
Phidippides.
I will not injure my teachers.
Strepsiades.
Yes, yes, reverence Paternal Jove.
Phidippides.
Paternal Jove quoth’a! How antiquated you are! Why, is there any Jove?
Strepsiades.
There is.
1470
Phidippides.
There is not, no; for Vortex reigns having expelled Jupiter.
1470
Strepsiades.
He has not expelled him; but I fancied this, on account of this Vortex here. Ah me, unhappy man! When I even took you who are of earthenware for a god.
Phidippides.
Here rave and babble to yourself.
1475
Strepsiades.
Ah me, what madness! How mad, then, I was when I ejected the gods on account of Socrates! But O dear Hermes, by no means be wroth with me, nor destroy me; but pardon me,
since I have gone crazy through prating. And become my adviser, whether I shall bring an action and prosecute them, or whatever you think. You advise me rightly, not permitting me to get up a lawsuit, but as soon as possible to set fire to the house
1480
of the prating fellows. Come hither, come hither, Xanthias! Come forth with a ladder and with a mattock and then mount upon the thinking-shop and dig down the roof, if you love your master, until you tumble the house upon them.
1485
But let some one bring me a lighted torch and I’ll make some of them this day suffer punishment, even if they be ever so much impostors.
1490
1st Disciple.
(from within). Hollo! Hollo!
Strepsiades.
It is your business, O torch, to send forth abundant flame.
1st Disciple.
What are you doing, fellow?
1495
Strepsiades.
What am I doing? Why, what else, than chopping logic with the beams of your house?
1495
