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Make no man your friend before inquiring how he has used his former friends;Cf. Xen. Mem. 2.6.6. for you must expect him to treat you as he has treated them. Be slowCf. Solon, quoted in Diog. Laert. 1.60: φίλους μὴ ταχὺ κτῶ· οὓς δ′ ἂν κτήσῃ μὴ ἀποδοκίμαζε. to give your friendship, but when you have given it, strive to make it lasting; for it is as reprehensible to make many changes in one’s associates as to have no friend at all. Neither test your friends to your own injury nor be willing to forgo a test of your companions. You can manage this if you pretend to be in want when really you lack nothing.
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Confide in them about matters which require no secrecy as if they were secrets; for if you fail you will not injure yourself, and if you succeed you will have a better knowledge of their character. Prove your friends by means of the misfortunes of life and of their fellowship in your perils; for as we try gold in the fire, so we come to know our friends when we are in misfortune.For both the figure and the sentiment cf. Theog. 415. You will best serve your friends if you do not wait for them to ask your help, but go of your own accord at the crucial moment to lend them aid.
