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When Dionysus led his host against the men of Ind (surely there is nothing to prevent my telling you a tale of Bacchus!), he was held at first in such contempt, they say, by the people there, that they laughed at his advance; more than that, they pitied him for his hardihood, because he was certain to be trampled under foot in an instant by the elephants if he deployed against them. No doubt they heard curious reports about his army from their scouts: “His rank and file are crack-brained, crazy women, wreathed with ivy, dressed in fawn-skins, carrying little headless spears which are of ivy too, and light targes that boom if you do but touch them”—for they supposed, no doubt, that the tambours were shields. ‘A few young clodhoppers are with them, dancing the can-can without any clothes on; they have tails, and have horns like those which start from the foreheads of new-born kids.