Thesauros Literature satire Ζεὺς Τραγῳδός

Ζεὺς Τραγῳδός

Ζεὺς Τραγῳδός Lucian of Samosata
8 It is likely, Zeus, that none but foreigners will occupy the front row, for as to the Greeks you yourself see what they are like, attractive, to be sure, and good looking and artistically made, but all of marble or bronze, nevertheless, or at most in the case of the very richest, of ivory with just a little gleam of gold, merely to the extent of being superficially tinged and brightened, within while even these are of wood and shelter whole droves of mice that keep court inside. But Bendis here and Anubis over there and Attis beside him and Mithras and Men are of solid gold and heavy and very valuable indeed.
9 Now why is it right, Hermes, for this dog-faced fellow from EgyptAnubis. to sit in front of me when I am Poseidon?
9 That’s all very well, but Lysippus made you of bronze and a pauper because the Corinthians had no gold at that time, while this fellow is richer than you are by mines-full. So you must put up with being thrust aside and not be angry if one who has such a snout of gold is preferred before you.
10 Well then, Hermes, take me and seat me in the front row somewhere, for I am golden.
10 Not as far as I can see, Aphrodite: unless I am stone blind, you are of white marble, quarried on Pentelicus, no doubt, and then, the plan having approved itself to Praxiteles, turned iuto Aphrodite and put into the care of the Cnidians.
10 But I'll prove it to you by a competent witness, Homer, who says all up and down his lays that I am “golden Aphrodite.”
10 Yes, and the same man said that Apollo was rich in gold and wealthy, but now you'll see that he too is sitting somewhere among the middle class, uncrowned by the pirates and robbed of the pegs of his lyre. So be content yourself if you are not quite classed with the common herd in the meeting.

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