39
Tychiades Ah, now comes the tug of war. It tickles me, this queer match between sponger and philosopher.
40
Simon Well, to make the thing more natural, and enable you to take it seriously, let us picture the circumstances. Sudden news has come of a hostile invasion; it has to be met; we are not going to sit still while our outlying territory is laid waste; the - commander-in-chief issues orders for a general muster of all liable to serve; the troops gather, including philosophers, thetoricians, and spongers. We had better strip them first, as the proper preliminary to arming. Now, my dear sir, have a look at them individually and see how they shape. Some of them you will find thin and white with underfeeding—all gooseflesh, as if they were lying wounded already. Now, when you think of a hard day, a stand-up fight with press and dust and wounds, what is it but a sorry jest to talk of such starvelings’ being able to stand it?
41
Now go and inspect the sponger. Full-bodied, flesh a nice 1 colour, neither white like a woman’s nor tanned like a slave’s; you can see his spirit; he has a keen look, as a gentleman should, and a high, full-blooded one to boot; none of your shrinking feminine glances when you are going to war! A noble pikeman that, and a noble corpse, for that matter, if a noble death is his fate.
42
But why deal in conjecture when there are facts to hand? I make the simple statement that in war, of all the rhetoricians and philosophers who ever lived, most never ventured outside the city walls, and the few who did, under compulsion, take their places in the ranks left their posts and went home.
42
Tychiades A bold extravagant assertion. Well, prove it.
