58
Simon Now, really, Tychiades, that is rather silly of you. Can you not see that a rich man, if he had the gold of Gyges, is yet poor as long as he dines alone, and no better than a tramp if he goes abroad unattended? A soldier without his arms, a dress without its purple, a horse without its trappings, are poor things; and a rich man without his sponger is a mean, cheap spectacle. The sponger gives lustre to the patron, never the patron to the other.
59
Moreover, none of the reproach that you imagine attaches to sponging; you refer, of course, to the difference in their degrees; but then it is an advantage to the rich man to keep the other; apart from his ornamental use, he is a most valuable bodyguard. In battle no one will be over ready to undertake the rich man with such a comrade at his side; and you can hardly, having him, die by poison. Who would dare attempt such a thing, with him tasting your food and drink? So he brings you not only credit, but insurance. His affection is such that he will run all risks; he would never leave his patron to face the dangers of the table alone; no, he would rather eat and die with him.
60
Tychiades You have stated your case without missing a point, Simon. Do not tell me you were unprepared again; you have been trained in a good school, man. But one thing more I should like to know. There is a nasty sound about the word sponger, don’t you think?
60
Simon See whether I have a satisfactory answer to that. Oblige me by giving what you consider the right answers to my questions, Sponging is an old word; what does it really mean?
60
Tychiades Getting your dinner at some one else’s expense.
60
Simon Dining out, in fact?
60
Tychiades Yes.
60
Simon And we may call a sponger an out-diner?
60
Tychiades The gravamen’s in that; he should dine at home.
61
Simon A few more answers, please. Of these pairs, which do you consider the best?. Which would you take, if you had the choice?—To sail, or to out-sail?
61
Tychiades The latter.
61
Simon To run or out-run?
61
Tychiades The latter.
