Thesauros Literature satire Θεῶν Ἐκκλησία

Θεῶν Ἐκκλησία

Θεῶν Ἐκκλησία Lucian of Samosata
15 “BE IT RESOLVED by the senate and the commons that a meeting of the assembly be convoked on Olympus at the time of the winter solstice; that seven gods of full standing be chosen as deputies, three to be from the old senate of the time of Cronus, and four from the Twelve, including Zeus; that these deputies before convening take the regular oath, invoking the Styx; that Hermes by proclamation assemble all who claim to belong to our body; that these present themselves with witnesses prepared to take oath, and with birth-certificates; that they then appear individually, and the deputies after investigation of each case either declare them to be gods or send them down to their sepulchres and the graves of their ancestors; and that if any one of those who shall fail of approval and shall have been expelled once for all by the deputies be caught setting foot in heaven, he be thrown into Tartarus;
16 “AND BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED that each ply his own trade; that Athena shall not heal the sick or Asclepius give oracles or Apollo combine in himself so many activities; he shall select one and be either seer or singer or physician;
17 that the philosophers be warned not to make up empty names or talk nonsense about matters of which they know nothing;
18 that in the case of those who already have been vouchsafed temples or sacrifices, their images be pulled down and those of Zeus or Hera or Apollo or one of the others be substituted; but the city shall raise a funeral-mound for them and set a gravestone upon it instead of an altar; that if anyone shall fail to comply with this proclamation and shall be unwilling to appear before the deputies, judgement by default shall be rendered against him.” There you have the resolution.

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