Thesauros Literature satire Πλοῖον ἢ Εὐχαί

Πλοῖον ἢ Εὐχαί

Πλοῖον ἢ Εὐχαί Lucian of Samosata
27 But, to let them go, do you think that you will have sure and certain good health? Don’t you see that many rich men live unhappy lives through some affliction—some unable even to walk, some blind, some with internal trouble? You would not accept twice the wealth if the effeminacy of the wealthy Phanomachus went with it, I’m sure, even if you deny it. I say nothing of the plots and robberies and envy and hatred by the mob that go with riches. Do you see how much trouble your treasure causes?
27 You’re always against me, Lycinus. Very well, you won’t get even a quart, as you’ve abused my wish to the end.
27 There you are. Just like most rich men, backing out and calling off your promises. Now give us your wish, Samippus.
28 I’m from the mainland, an Arcadian from Mantinea as you know, so I shan’t ask for a ship. I could not show it off to my fellow-citizens, and I shan’t be niggardly with the gods and ask for treasure and measured gold. The gods can do anything, even what seems to be quite stupendous, and the rule of wish which Timolaus laid down was not to hesitate to ask for anything, on the assumption that they will not say no. Well, I ask to be made a king, but not a king like Alexander, Philip’s son, or Ptolemy or Mithridates or any of those who inherited their kingdom from a father. No, let me begin as a brigand with about thirty sworn companions, men absolutely trustworthy and full of spirit. Then let them grow by degrees to three hundred, a thousand, and soon ten thousand, until the total is some fifty thousand heavy infantry and about five thousand horse.
29 I shall be elected chief by all, because they think me the most able leader and administrator. This very fact is sweet—to be greater than other kings, because I’ve been elected commander by the army on merit, and not inherited the kingdom after someone else has done the work—that would be like Adimantus’s treasure and not so gratifying as when you see that you have won power by your own effort.

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