Thesauros Literature satire Πλοῖον ἢ Εὐχαί

Πλοῖον ἢ Εὐχαί

Πλοῖον ἢ Εὐχαί Lucian of Samosata
29 Goodness, Samippus! This is no small demand. You’ve asked for the essence of every good there is, to have fifty thousand men choose you as most able to command a force like that. What a wonderful king and general Mantinea had bred and didn’t know it! Never mind! Be king and lead your soldiers and muster your cavalry and your heroic shield-bearers. I want to know where you are going with an army of that size from Arcadia and who will be your first unhappy victims.
30 Listen, Lycinus, or better still come with us if you like. I’ll make you a cavalry officer in the fifty thousand.
30 Well, I’m grateful for the honour, your majesty. I bow my head in Persian style and do obeisance sweeping my hands behind me, honouring your upright turban and your diadem. But make one of these mighty men your cavalry officer. I’m dreadfully bad at horses and never sat on a horse in my life before. I’m afraid that when the trumpet blows for action I’ll fall off and be trampled on by all those hooves in the throng; or the horse may be spirited and take the bit between its teeth and carry me right among the enemy; or I shall have to be tied to the saddle if I’m going to stay up and hold the reins.
31 I’ll lead your cavalry, Samippus. Let Lycinus have the right wing. I deserve the best from you in return for all those bushels of minted gold I gave you.
31 Let us ask the cavalry personally, Adimantus, if they will have you as commander. Gentlemen of the cavalry, those in favour of Adimantus as cavalry officer, raise your hands.
31 They’ve voted unanimously, you see, Samippus.
31 Well, you command the cavalry and let Lycinus have the right. Timolaus here shall take the left. I shall be in the centre as the law lays down for Persian kings when they are with their troops.

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