Book 20
1
Let me tell you how you stand; your boat is small, as you can see, and unsound, and leaks almost all over; if it lists one way or the other, it will capsize and sink. Yet you come in such numbers all at once, each of you laden with luggage. If, then, you take all this on board, I’m afraid you’ll be sorry for it later on, particularly those of you that can’t swim.
1
Well, what shall we do to have a good passage?
1
I’ll tell you. Strip yourselves before you come on board, and leave all this useless stuff on the shore; for, even then, the ferry will hardly hold you. It will be up to you, Hermes, to let none of them aboard after this, unless he has stripped himself and thrown away his trappings, as I said he must. Go and stand by the gangway, and sort them out for admission. Make them strip, before you let them on board.
2
Well spoken. Let’s do as you say. Who’s this first one?
2
I’m Menippus. But see, here’s my bag for you, Hermes, and my stick; into the water with them. My cloak I didn’t even bring—and a good job too!
2
Come on board, Menippus, best of men, and take the seat of honour up beside the steersman, so that you can keep an eye on the others.
3
And who’s this handsome fellow?
3
Charmoleos, the darling of Megara, whose kiss was worth two talents.
3
Then off with your beauty and your lips, kisses and all, your luxuriant hair, your rosy cheeks and all your skin; that’s fine, now you’re travelling light, and may come on board.
4
And who are you over here, with the purple robe and diadem, you who are so solemn?
4
Lampichus, tyrant of Gela.
4
Well why, Lampichus, do you bring all that with you?
4
Well, what should I do? Ought a tyrant to come naked, Hermes?
4
A tyrant shouldn’t, but a dead man most certainly should. So off with it all.
4
There you are; there goes my wealth.
4
Away too with your vanity, Lampichus, and your pride; they will weigh down the ferry, if they come in along with you.
4
Then at least allow me to keep my diadem and my mantle.
4
Certainly not; away with these too.
