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LYCINUS Lexiphanes, the glass of fashion, with a book?
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LEXIPHANES Yes, Lycinus; ’tis one of my own productions of this very season,With τητινόν cf. τῆτες, ascribed to Pompeianus of Philadelphia in Athenaeus, III, 98 8. quite recent.
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LYCINUS Why, are you now writing us something indecent?Lucian pretends to confuse νεοχμός (recent, novel) with αὐχμός (drought)—an equivoque quite impossible, I think, to reproduce exactly in English. LEXIPHANES No, forsooth, and I did not say indecent. Come, it is full time you learned to apply that word of mine to things newly indited. It would seem that your ears are stopped with wax.
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LYCINUS Excuse me, my friend. Between indecent and recent there is a great dealin common. But tell me, what is the theme of your work?
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LEXIPHANES I am counter-banqueting the son of Aristo in it. LYCINUS There are many “Aristos,” but to judge from your “banquet’ I suppose you mean Plato.
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LEXIPHANES You rede me right, but what I said would have been caviare to the general.
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LYCINUS Well then, you must read me a few passages from the book, so that I shan’t miss the feast entirely, I dare say you will properly “wine us with nectar” out of it.Lycinus is quoting a famous mixed metaphor in Homer (Iliad, I, 598 and IV, 3, with the scholia) and implies that he expects Lexiphanes to regale him similarly. LEXIPHANES Suppress Master Irony, then, and make your ears permeable before you give them to me. Avaunt with the obturations of Dame Cypselis!The name Cypselis (Waxy) is coined from cypselé (ear-wax). LYCINUS Say your say confidently, for no Cypselus nor any PerianderPeriander comes in because he too was a Cypselid. has taken up lodgings in my ears.
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LEXIPHANES Consider withal how I carry myself in the book —whether it has a good entrance, a rich display of good discourse and composure,For εὔλεξις cf. A Professor of Public Speaking, 17 (IV, p. 157). and good store of egregious words. LYCINUS It is sure to have that, being yours. But do begin now.
